April 30th one of my informants and me appeared on a radio show called “Norgesglasset“. We talk about structured pickup, and I find it amuzing that my term is starting to spread around, and even being used within the pickup community. It’s in Norwegian, enjoy!
Debate in Norwegian about the rethorics of pickup 19.04.10
Shocking: My last blog update was 5 months ago! Since then I’ve dedicated myself to a life spent with Aiko, the most precious dog-being ever created, and not much else. But every now and then I tap into what I’m actually supposed to be doing, as the following video is an example of. It’s in Norwegian, and shows a debate I attended, with prof. Jan Svennevig and coach Torkel Guttormsen. We discuss pickup, rethorics and communication.
Paneldebatt from SandyEyeCandy on Vimeo.
Not always as it seems… 27.10.09
When checking out my own page, I realize that it’s way to many mentionings of Love Systems compared to other companies in the pickup community. The reason for this is that LS is one of the few companies that welcomed me warmly and still stay in touch, in addition to them beeing the only company I can use the real name for when writing. All though I personally love the guys from LS I’ve met so far, this doesn’t mean that I prefer one company or one method to another. I’m as objective as I can be.
Still, I came across something funny the other day that made me think of the Love Systems once again…
Cabbage head Savoy
Preparations before Aiko arrives 13.10.09
Yesterday I promised Mads who I study with, that my blog wasn’t going to be all about dogs from now on, but since there’s only 7 days before the love of my life is moving in with me, I thought I’d share a few of my preparations with you:
- Pour cold apple juice on the floor at surprizing places, then walk around barefoot in the dark
- The minute you wake up, get out in the rain og and practise saying: “Goood dog, do you sprinkle now, aaaw – that’s a good girl! Hurry now!”
- Rub dog hair into all your nicest clothes. White hair on dark clothes, dark hair on light clothes.
Make sure there’s a dog hair in the morning tea and in the buttercup. - Play with a soaking wet tennis ball.
- Run barefoot in the snow to close the gate.
- Drag all the clean laundry out over floor, and make sure at least four socks from different pairs are torn apart.
- When the doorbell rings: Drop a few pairs of dirty underwear on the livingroom floor, ‘cus that’s where the puppy will leave them when you have visitors anyway.
- Just before your favorite tv-show starts, jump out of the chair, run towards the door and yell: “No, not there, do it OUTSIDE!!” Remain standing on the doorsteps until the show is over.
- Spend all your time surfing the net reading about dogs, shows, equipment while looking at pictures and videos at youtube. Don’t waste a second worrying about the master thesis you should be writing.
- Use a screwdriver and make deep scratches on the table legs, or squeeze a tong around the leg and pull around.
- Put chocolate pudding on the rug in the morning, and don’t clean it until you come home from work.
- Take a soft, warm blanket fresh out of the tumble dryer, wrap it around you, and just feel – that’s some of the feeling you’ll get when the puppy falls asleep in your lap.
Borrowed, translated and adapted from: Kennell Latruda
Love Systems Fourth visit to Oslo 07.10.09
Article originally published in Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten, and it’s weekend magazine. Journalist: Solrun Dregelid. Photos from bootcamp: Paal Audestad
http://www.aftenposten.no/amagasinet/article3297861.ece
Saturday, Oslo centrum:
To summer dressed girls strolls toward Grensen. A dark haired guy at 165 cm stands at a few meters distance and scouts behind dark sun glasses. He catches a glimpse of the blondes and doesn’t hesitate. With steady steps he follows them. When he reaches the side of the blondest one of the girls, he touches her arm gently and says: “I saw you from across the street, and you were so gorgeous that I just had to come over and talk to you. Hi, I’m Jim!” He reaches out his hand. She takes it and giggles somewhat shy. After five minutes of dialogue, laughter and heavy eyeballing her number is saved on Jim Stark’s phone. What really happened? 
“I don’t really understand it myself”, Sigrid Meland (18) says. “He seemed so confident and nice at the same time. I simply got a bit charmed. It’s not every day you experience something like that in Oslo. Norwegian boys are so shy”, she adds. Meland has just been exposed to one of the world’s best professional pickup-artist. 27 year old Australian Jim Stark, or Mr. M as he’s better known as within the pickup community, has demonstrated what he calls “daygaming” and “number-close” to A-Magasinet. This means to pick up girls during the daytime with the goal of getting a phone number and a date later on. The former lawyer is so good at this and other pickup techniques that American company Love Systems pay him over a million a year to travel around the world and teach his seduction techniques to other men. He was recently in Norway for the third time. Also in this country there are more and more men who want to learn pickup through science and tested methods.
Pickup Club
In Oslo there are now among 300-400 men who’s passionate about pickup, almost as the VIF-clan is of Vålerenga. (VIF is the supporters of Vålerenga, one of Norway’s most famous football teams). This is men who several times a month meet on different occasions to discuss pickup and that spend hours in front of the computer to find out which methods that attract women, master student in social anthropology at the University of Oslo, Sandra Janzsó, explains.
She’s writing her master thesis about the structured pickup community in Oslo, and has followed the most active pickup artist out to clubs, on internet forums and during pickup courses. “Many of them enter the community after reading the book “The Game” by Neil Strauss. Others have been recruited through the internet or by buddies they suddenly notice has gained a lot more success with women,” says Janzsó. She points out that in addition to the most visible of the pickup artists, there are a number of men that read books on their own, and that participate in the increasing number of pickup courses that are offered Norwegian men.
Who turns to methods and science to pick up women? Which methods are they using? And do women really get tricked?
Lack of experience
Ten men are sitting prepared in a conference room in Oslo. It’s Friday morning. Several of them have laptops. The coffee mugs are constantly refilled. The potential pickup artist doesn’t want to miss any of the information that Mr. M and his three assistant coaches will impart. They are after all paying 18.000 Norwegian kroner for the 20 hours of theory and almost as many hours of practice they will be getting the next three days. The knowledge will also be welcomed when in a few days, it’s the student’s turn to get “number closes” in the middle of the day.
When the participants present themselves and their experience with ladies – that just might seem a bit utopic. “I fall into the fiend trap every time. Not that strange perhaps, considering that even touching someone or give a compliment is really difficult for me”, says a 42 year old engineer from the west of Norway. “I’ve never had a girlfriend and don’t know how to contact women without drinking”, says Morten (23) quietly while staring at the table. He’s flown down from northern Norway to do something about the situation. And so it goes around the table. “Common for a lot of those who’s engaged in structured pickup, is a feeling of frustration over their own social situation, and that they want to change this. The motive to learn pickup techniques vary from wanting to find the lady in their life, to sleeping with as many women as possible”, says Janzsó. In the seminar room in Oslo, most of the guys express a wish for assistance in getting a girlfriend. “Just as studying economics gives me the tools to grab on to a great business opportunity when it may show, I hope that this course will give me the knowledge to seduce the woman in my life when she walks by. I don’t want luck and chance to decide who I end up with”, says student Adi (26).
Old fashioned view
What’s the knowledge that Adi and the others are going to learn really about? Well, it’s understanding what a woman looks for in a man and act upon it. In the pickup manual “Magic Bullets” the writer and pickup artist code named Savoy lists the following qualities that a women unconscious look for in a partner: Good genes that may give them a healthy child. Good social skills and humor, which is important in order to be accepted in a group. Status and good economy, which means that he will be able to provide for her and the child. Confidence, which means he can handle most challenges. Janzsó means these evolutionary psychological explanations of what women wants, is a way of legitimating that men in the relation to women, really are hunters. This justifies that men have a “right” to the women they want. – Isn’t this a very outdated view of women? “This definitely stands in harsh contrast to established notions of gender equality and modern forms of social organization. I notice at the same time that many of the guys in the Norwegian pickup community react and strongly appalls the outdated view of women”, says Janzsó.
The first line
Anyway, the 10 around the table are now enthusiastically occupied with a role play where they actually practice being hunters. By going through six steps in a so called emotional progression model, they aim to show the masculine traits that women look for. They start by practicing “opening”, the first step in the model. “You may say something funny like: “Hey, dancing’s not allowed, you have to come with me!” or be direct and say: “I saw from across the room and just wanted to say that you’re absolutely gorgeous”, says Mr. M. “But you can’t say that in Norway. It may be interpreted as sexual assault”, Ole (42) protests. Mr. M on the other hand means this shows confidence, and corrects Oles tone of voice and posture. One of the other instructors, a read haired Brit code named Keychain, takes over. He’s an expert in touching techniques, and demonstrates how by touching the woman, first a little on the arm, then the inside of her hand, then the shoulder, you reach your goal faster. “It’s important to “escalate”. If you haven’t touched the woman at all, it’s harder to get a kiss-close”, Keychain explains.
Passive Scandinavians
“All in all we teach the students to become a bit more macho. Even though women say they want the good guy, they fall for the masculine one”, says Mr. M. He is supported by research. Psychologist Heather Rapp at Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University recently proved that ovulating women show an increased interest in masculine men. This is connected to high levels of testosterone, on other words masculinity, which expresses good gene quality. Quite a few Norwegian men seem to have lost this masculinity, Mr. M means, who sees this as a problem. “Here in the North the soft metro sexual man is worshiped, while masculine ideals seem to have vanished. When men forget how to be men, women forget how to be women. Men and women become so much alike that the tension between them disappears”, says the pickup guru. Han believes gender equality is the reason why men in the North are amongst the most passive he’s seen during his numerous accounts out to clubs and bars in over 40 countries. While 20 percent of the men approach the women, the remaining 80 percent will just stand there. Only when drunk will they have the guts to pick up, rarely with a good result. “I believe many Norwegian men would benefit from becoming more active without as much alcohol”, says Mr. M. Gender sociologist Preben Z. Møller agrees with Mr. M that the present generation of young men, grown up in the climate of sixty-eighters , have been instilled a kind of soft-man ideal that woman may not react all too positive to. Does this mean that traditional masculine ideals should be given more room? “No. Even though it’s right that dominant behavior is rewarded by women, neither men or women is gaining in the long run from the traditional male ideal”, says Møller. – But haven’t gender equality gone too far when a man is afraid to give a women a compliment? “I don’t think so. On the contrary, women should compliment men more on their looks. Women are just as responsible for picking up men as the other way around”, says Møller.
Out picking up
It’s midnight Friday. 11 somewhat nervous men are spread around the club Onkel Donald in Oslo. They’re here to test their new knowledge, their manhood and their fears. “Tell the brunette over there that you think she’s pretty”, Mr. M whispers to Morten and gives him a little shove. The 23 year-old has never walked up to woman without at least five bears in the system. Now he’s sober, and terribly nervous. With hesitant steps he walks over to the lady in question. He slaps her gently on the shoulder. She turns around and he says the memorized line. “Huh? What did you say? I didn’t hear you!” she yells. Morten repeats. The girl smiles and looks at him funny before she turns to the bar. Morten loafs back. Mr. M explains to him that Norwegian girls have a very high “bitch shield”, which means that they give few signals of interest, which makes it necessary to “plow”, to keep talking. He is sent back out there. This time Mr. M decides to ”wing”, to talk to the girls friend, so she doesn’t occupy Mortens lady. It quickly ends up with both of them talking to Mr. M and, while Morten dejected watches the three backs. On the third shot magic happens. Morten is able to transition the opener into a conversation. The confidence rises. Opening doesn’t seem quite as scary anymore.
At two o’clock the next day, the guys meet for another day of theory. How did the previous night go? Well, most of them opened just above ten girls. Some got phone numbers, and some even manage to get a “kiss-close”. Do the methods work? “Yes, it’s obvious that a man who confidently walks up to 20 women a day, will have more success than shy guys that stands there watching”, says Møller. Janzsó agrees, and adds that as times goes and the guys receives more positive feedback from women, they will become more comfortable with themselves and through that also more successful with women. “And it’s when you’ve reached this level, that the methods works the best”, Mr. M emphasizes. “In the beginning they are memorized lines and routines, but then they become a part of you. You have to become different, not just act like it. The goal is to view oneself as naturally attractive, as that’s how you become attractive in others eyes as well. In the long run the “inner game” is far more important the outer game.”
In broad daylight
Three days of intensive theory and practice out on the town is over. Now the pickup candidates are ready to get in contact with women during broad daylight. They’ve been given a short introduction to “daygaming” by expert Soul. Basically the same six steps are applicable during the days as at nighttime, except that they will have to been done “fast forward”. Since people during the day usually are in a hurry, the goal is to land a five minute conversation, and then get the girl’s phone number. Soul has taken three of the students down to Karl Johan (the main street of Oslo). Their guts are feeling like they’re about to go on a roller coaster ride. Pickup at a night club is a walk in the park compared to what they are about to experience. Per (20) is told to catch up with a blonde with a backpack rapidly moving towards a building. He runs after her and touches her arm. She jumps are looks a bit astonished when he presents his errand. But she remains on the sport. They have a few minutes of conversation before Per returns to report in. She appreciated the compliment, but he didn’t get a “number close”, he admits. He is told to make an effort to appear more confident, and is sent away to catch the next blonde.
Gender sociologist Preben Z. Møller is skeptical to behavior changes amongst the pickup artists: “The gender market is a harsh reality for those who learn that they have to become someone else to be accepted, and I don’t know anybody who hasn’t gotten psychological scars after being involved in such surroundings over time. I studied them a couple of years ago, and the lucky ones get out after a little while”. He also means that boys and men, who act macho to get in the girl’s pants, often will miss the chance of taking her to the altar.
No woman no write 26.09.09
I’ve had serious pains in my neck, arms and hands lately, which has made me lay off the blogging for a while. There’s something about a keyboard these days that just doesn’t click with me… Bad for business when it comes to writing a master thesis, but very nice when all one wants to do is read books and sit in a park watching dogs, heh. I’ve decided to write the thesis in Norwegian, by the way. All my reasons for writing in English all of a sudden seemed wrong. Apart from wanting to reach my international connections with the thesis, I also ment that writing in English would make the quite intriguing internal lingo of the community I’m writing about, seem more understandable. But the the fact that they talk like that is extremely interesting, but if I use English, their difference is diguised. So I’ll write in Norwegian, and rather translate the thesis later.
I’ve met my puppy! I’ll leave you with some really nice pictures…
Solvent abuse? Fo sho! 30.08.09
After a week in bed being sick, I stepped up to the table and finally painted my cranky, old bathroom door funky Greek. My pictures aren’t half as good as those of Miss Paris, but I blame the camera. 
And if I didn’t have tendinites from too much work in front of a computer to begin with, I’ll surely get it after handling this “monstrous” machine:
Sterile mirror
Manic makeover
Pale, scruffy door
Funky Greek door
Orchid orgie
I like colours!
Scurfy door be gone!
The comments